ravings, rantings and ramblings
I feel that I am getting more and more dependent on you. It wasn’t like this back then. But with the passage of time, I seem to be talking to you more than I ever did. In hind sight, I used to talk a lot with you when I was a child. I used to draw you. I used to draw from you. I used to try to know you deeper. I used to think about you and your reactions. I wanted to be like you. I used to talk to you in my head.
Then, came a time, when I guess I relied more on myself and what I thought was my might. I thought of you but it was just like a mobile alarm reminder; meant to be turned off. Relying on you suddenly became a sign of weakness.
But now, I feel weak if I haven’t thought of you or consulted you or even said it to you in my head. I bank on you. I lean on you. It doesn’t feel any weak now. It feels stronger. I see the changes and the differences; in me and in this world. I still talk to you. I still think about you. I still want you to know what I am going through. I still want you to know what I want and what I don’t. I still confer with you in my head. I still rely on you.