TheCalmDev (Dev J Haldar)

ravings, rantings and ramblings

Tees Maar Khan

As I sat there, losing interest in Tees Maar Khan, I was wondering how different film making was back in the 80’s. Films were made for the audiences and for pure entertainment. This year, I have seen films that were made to either spite another in the film fraternity, or to send a vicious message or to prove that a certain camp still has what it takes. Now the film industry could vehemently deny this, but I shall hold on to this supposition of mine.

TMK, Tees Maar Khan for short, is a first for Farah Khan without Shahrukh Khan in the lead. And I feel that is the message. After her alleged fall-out with SRK, Farah somewhere wanted to prove that she could strike gold with Akshay Kumar who has been pretty successful off late. Akshay has tremendous comic timing that has been showcased in various Priyadarshan, Vipul Shah and Anees Bazmi films. He has also had his share of handsome flops in Nikhil Advani, Vipul Shah and Priyadarshan films. Unfortunately, TMK doesn’t score. A good lead always speaks volumes of the connect between the lead and the director. TMK speaks of no connection between Akki and Farah.

TMK is sparsely funny but overall is a very bland film. You have been tickled so many times that any more ribbing doesn’t produce the same effect. The biggest fault? There is no storyline. No plot. No story. No plot. Oh! I am repeating myself. Pardon my irritability. Blame TMK! You cannot sustain a film on gags and giggles. Watching Aishwarya Rai give an interview is better than that.

Let us scan a few important people in the chain of things.

Shirish Kunder. There isn’t one thing we need to know about Mr Farah Khan. He is a better editor than writer. Last time he wrote a film with Akki in it, the film sunk faster than the Titanic. Remember Jaaneman? But Shirish believes a lot in his talent, and so he comes back with TMK. He has done a lot in this film except direct it. Given a background score, written the film, edited, produced and probably would have clapped when the film ends. Not all can do an Aamir, for instance. Is my sarcasm evident enough? What really was funny was towards the end of the film when he ‘won’ himself multiple awards and sat with many statuettes in his lap like Michael Jackson showed off his 8 Grammy haul! Shirish, sorry dude, but do you think somebody in their sanest senses would give you so many? Dont answer that. It is a rhetoric!

Farah Khan. Just one question – what happened? I understand and enjoy mindless entertainment as well, but seriously, what happened this time? No hat-trick for you this time, sorry. And if anybody is good at math and logic would deduce that Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om had SRK in it and TMK didn’t. Could that be the reason? Oh yes, I have only one thing to thank you for. Thank you for giving us all Sheila!

Speaking of whom, Katrina Kaif! Oh Sheila, you are so wonderful! The way you move, the way you smile, the way you shimmy and shake, the way you show off your new dancing prowess and the new midriff. The way you manage to look good on-screen doing nothing important or substantial. Another film where you do what you, and Malaika Arora Khan would be signed as main lead not item girl!!! Oh and thank you for Sheila! I mean that!

I certainly had a lot of expectations from TMK, but they all fell flat, as Katrina’s midriff. Honestly, I liked the first 15 minutes of the film. My favourite part was when the film ended.

TMK = Total Money Kill


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