TheCalmDev (Dev J Haldar)

ravings, rantings and ramblings

How NOT to have banks call you

One of the things that I enjoyed in the UAE was the lack of cold calls from banks offering you for pre-approved credit cards and loans. Then again, I said it too soon. And before I could say ‘EMI’ my phone number was very popular with most UAE banks and they all clamoured for my ‘credit-craved’ attention. One change of mobile number and recession later, I was beginning to heave a sigh of relief. At least banks would not make cold calls to get more people signed on plastic when they would not be able to repay their equated monthly installments.

Now again, I am trying to dodge calls from unknown numbers (read banks) who are offering pre-approved credit cards with a handsome credit balance and personal loans as well. And once again, I am readying to launch into my impregnable defense programme that no bank can break through. I tried it once in India that was a huge success and now am about to do the same here in the UAE as well. 

Today a bank called, asking me how I am feeling today and if I would jump up in joy to know that I have been selected for a gold credit card? And I slowly unleashed the terror that would surely get my number black-listed with all banks sharing their customer database.

Here’s how it went.

Emirates Bank (now Emirates NBD) called to know if I would be interested in the usual. I declined.

A few days later, I receive another call from them. I declined showing my annoyance at being called again.

Couple of calls later, I receive another call with the exact, same request. Cornered as I was like a hunted animal, I did what instinct guided me to. The gent who called me was very social and wanted to have a conversation. I showed my interest in getting the new card but laid down one condition to it. He asked what the condition was. I knew he would.  And then, I asked him to marry me.


I repeated my offer.

The call ended without any social pleasantries being exchanged.

It is hilarious; specially the various reactions that my offer has elicited. At the cost of being known among banks as mentally unstable, it certainly does stop those unwanted calls.


2 comments on “How NOT to have banks call you

  1. Kisada Hurin
    December 2, 2010

    LOL hahahahahahahahaha! In their faces :p

  2. Subho
    December 2, 2010

    What an idea, sirji! You’re a great storyteller – the next Chetan Bhagat… in the making. YES!!

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